In Depravity (Test) (NSFW) (LGBT) (18+)
This test is primarily to recieve feedback on the writing within the project. I would like criticism and advice on how to improve it.
To give context about this file, the world this is based in has about 5 years worth of lore documentation that I've personally created. Writing this project allows me to explore my writing and creation from a different angle than I'm used to.
The player entity find themselves within an unknown realm. The player will experience some short encounters before reaching an ending. Theoretically, this file will act as a prologue for a much larger game, utilizing the entities referenced in each ending to shape the rest of the world and gameplay.
I currently have 9 endings for this prologue, each referencing and themed around a different antagonistic entity (named in Parentheses at the end of each branch) within the world. There are only 16 blocks of text thus far, so you should be able to read everything fairly quickly.
Development log
- Text editsApr 11, 2023
Comments
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from what I understand it's a text-based game, so it would be nice to have a Portuguese version
In this early stage it doesn't really make sense to invest in the services of a translator. My writing is the key point where I'm looking for feedback, so once I'm confident in that I'd be happy to make it more accessible to new audiences.
I understand my friend, I really liked the game even though it is in its initial phase, it is a game with a promising future
Hi, bit of a problem with the game so far- I can't get the window on itch to expand enough to see all of the text, and even when I shrink the text font size via google settings it still leaves some longer parts cut off.
Here is where I got stuck before changing font sizes:
And here is as far as I can go with it set to very small text:
This might just be an issue on my end, but I'm concerned it might not be possible to play the game like this.
FYI, I'm using Chrome on a Windows 10 computer. I tried refreshing, narrowing the tab window, and zooming in/out, none of which have helped. Maybe consider making the project downloadable so it can have a separate window?
Thanks for letting me know, mate. Never used itch before, so learning as I go right now. I'll check the settings and see what I can do as soon as I can.
Edit: I removed the "[Run in browser]" option so it should just be a tiny little download.
I still don't see a download option or link listed on this page though.
I think there's supposed to be a separate option adding a download link or uploading the game file somewhere that people usually use.
You're right again. XD Apologies. It keeps auto-ticking the box to make it run in browser, I assume because its an html file.
Regardless, I tweaked it and got scroll functionality working at the very least.
Good to see, looks like it's working now!
Overall, it's a very nice short bit of horror-themed writing, but I think the paragraphs could use a break or two between some sentences here and there.
:) Awesome! I'll modify modify those to make it more readable. Thank you again for the feedback.
Are there any passages you would identify as particularly strong or weak?